“Why would I want to try to positive when I’m sick?”



  • They steal your time
  • They steal your energy
  • They take away your mobility
  • They make you grumpy
  • They cost you money
  • They make you feel guilty about the things you can’t do
  • They alienate people who don’t understand


I was on Twitter the other day, and a woman was talking about how everyone tells her how to be positive, and she honestly doesn’t WANT to be positive sometimes. I get it. Here’s the truth about me:





There you have it! Not only do I have asthma that literally takes my breath away; neuropathy that causes pain and burning; myopathy that’s atrophying my muscles; and a host of other illnesses; I am also going through pre-menopause. I don’t like to admit it, but it’s true. Sometimes, I am one huge, bundle-of-nerves mess.



We’ve all been there. You are not alone.






It doesn’t come naturally to me. I have to work at it. If I didn’t work at it though, I would alienate everyone in my life that I care about. I WAS alienating the people in my life that I cared about.  All I could think about were my sickness and pain, and the fear and guilt they were causing.

Has my situation changed? No. Am I in less pain? No. But I have better relationships and a bright future, all because I chose to be happy and focus on positive things; my family, this blog, and my new book, and our Chronically Positive Mom support group.





I don’t want you to fake it. Everyone hates that. Sometimes you’re gonna feel like crap. Take the time you need to feel it, and do what you can to ease your burden. But after a bit, choose to focus on something else. Create your blog, write your book, put those thousands of pictures you have into some sort of order, write letters to all your long-lost friends. Do something, plan something., connect with someone. Want to learn about publishing a book?  Apply to be on the launch team for “The Sick Mom’s Guide® to Having Fun Again”  You’ll get a free book and a behind the scenes peek at the process, and some other special stuff!


I promise, if you let your mind have something besides you to focus on, you will feel a bit better.


Want to know more?  Check out this article called, “Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress” from the Mayo clinic:


YOUR CHALLENGE FOR TODAY: Find something to focus on the next time you feel miserable. Post it in the comments below, maybe you’ll give someone else the idea they needed to feel better too!

The Sick Mom’s Guide™ to Having Fun Again

A new book is coming!


Who is it for?

Any Mom who is sick & tired of being sick & tired!


I can’t wait for you to read “The Sick Mom’s Guide™ to Having Fun Again!”  Writing it has been an incredible journey for me, and it has helped me discover so many things I didn’t even realize I could do until I began writing.  I can’t wait to share it with other Moms who feel the way I did just a short year ago; sad, lonely, and bored.  They will become happier, more connected, and start having fun again!  It will be published in June, just in time for Summer vacation reading!


Imagine having a reference for experiencing fun with:

  • the love of your life
  • your friends
  • your kids
  • yourself!  Guilt-free all-out FUN!
  • going to the doctor’s office (yes, really)



For all the details, go to:


Whether you are a Mom with fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, depression, pending surgery, health issues, or you’re just sick and tired of being sick and tired, “The Sick Mom’s Guide™” has a wealth of ideas about having fun and enjoying yourself.  I’ve had so much fun researching and asking everyone I know (and some people I don’t really know) about how to have fun when we feel miserable.  That’s a really hard thing to do, especially when you feel too yucky to get creative!  So I’ve started the book off with some ways to not feel so miserable anymore.

We need to think back to when we were girls, and we had hopes and dreams and plans for our grown-up years. Although some of those plans won’t work now, others WILL!  And we need to start thinking about what we like and what makes us feel happy again.  Sometimes it’s hard to come up with great ideas when we’re sick or in pain, so I’ve put some fabulous ideas together.

Inside there’s a list of 100 things to do with your kids!  50 of the ideas are for when you don’t feel well enough to get off the couch & 50 of them when you can get out, but don’t have much energy or strength.


Want to meet some of the fabulous contributors to the book?  Come check out our support group here:

Come back soon to see what’s happening next…we’re sharing the process with you, so you can see what the process of writing and publishing a book is and be part of it with us.  It’s all about our community, and making it better–and more FUN!


Can’t wait to share more with you!



YOUR CHALLENGE FOR TODAY:  Find a way to have fun today.  You deserve it!

Having a rough week?


Dear Chronically Positive Mom Family,

Even me, the “Chronically Positive Mom” can get stuck in my sadness sometimes.  It all started last Friday, when one of the women from our support group passed away.  I have never met her face-to-face, but she has been a ray of sunshine in our group. She has helped me feel better personally by giving me support emotionally, and by giving me advice on a physical symptom I was struggling with, as well as helping others there.

In my quest to build up, support, and empower women with chronic illnesses, I never thought about what I would/should do if something happened to one of them!  In my perfect world here in the computer, they would all miraculously be healed and go on to live brilliant lives, running and playing with their children like never before.

I am telling you, dear one, that I am beside myself today.  Both for the loss of Gina (and for her family), and for the realization that this is the reality we face.   It is in the back of our minds, and the minds of those who are close to us.  What if I go too early?



It is good and healthy to grieve,

when we are done, we need to give ourselves permission to LIVE


Hold your child’s hand, look deep into their eyes and tell them you love them.  Commit random acts of kindness to those around you. Take a walk in the rain.  Surround yourself with beauty.  Do what you love to do.  LOVE others.

On Friday night, Gina’s family found out how many peoples lives she had touched.  They had never known that even though she was sick, she was constantly building up others in her online communities.  She reached out and made a difference, even though her symptoms prevented her from doing the things many others take for granted.  I hope that I am like that, bringing love and hope into your life!

SMILE at everyone around you, and enjoy those precious smiles you get in return!


Don’t live each day as if it were your last in fear, but live that way and make purposeful choices to enjoy your life. Focus on the positive so you attract other positive people toward you.  You deserve to be happy.  Pursue that happiness.


Saturday, I found out our neighbor had also passed away Friday as well, leaving his precious wife & soul-mate behind.  I talked to her yesterday and she was smiling.  She is there, moving forward and loving everyone in her life. And here I am, crying for my loss. Crying because I feel so sad  Crying because I want to make a difference and make a change, but some things are out of my control.


This isn’t a normal positive post, but it’s a real and honest one.  


I  love my Chronically Positive Mom family, even though we haven’t met in person.  I love you because even though you might be across the world from me, we share a bond.  I am joyful when you are joyful, and I feel the pain of your bad days.  Live today, enjoy today, love today.  Fill your day with joy for me.  Tomorrow I’ll join you.


You are loved, and you are not alone,




In an Emergency–Your Medical Information Needs to be Accessible


Hi everyone,

Last week, I had the longest phone call that I’ve had in a long time. It was so nice to sit and talk, uninterrupted. My friend, Tiffany, is one of the women from our Chronically Positive Facebook Group. We talked about our families and our health, plus she had some really good ideas for my book. I LOVE her ideas!   I’m so happy to have so much input!

One of the things that Tiffany talked about was the importance of having emergency information prepared for our families and medical team in case something happens to us. I know from personal experience, six separate week-long stays in the hospital, that this is imperative, but I didn’t realize how many people don’t have everything together in one place.




Today I’m asking you to prepare all the info your family needs, just in case you have an emergency. When you have enough energy, take it a step further and put EVERYONE’S info together.

You will feel relaxed having your emergency list prepared & one less thing to worry about

Not only will it come in handy if someone has to call 9-1-1, but you can take it when you travel too.

 Get a checklist of the 10 most important things on your list

when you sign up below


Do you already have your emergency information all together? That’s fantastic! We’ve got some special info to add about the kids and their school to write down too.  You’ll get them when you sign up.


Have a great week,



p.s. Tiffany is a virtual assistant, if you’re looking for someone who is professional and creative, her Facebook page is here:

10 Steps to Get to Sleep Fast







It gets to everyone sometimes.  Some people can’t fall asleep.  Some people can’t stay asleep.  Some people can’t sleep at night and then they’re exhausted all day.  I am all of the above.  Or, at least, I used to be.

About six months ago, I got really tired (pun intended) of all that sleep mess.  I was exhausted all of the time.  (now it’s just most of the time lol)  My accommodating husband never complained, but it’s not good for him to be up with me all night tossing and turning, then try to work all day.  After decades of sleep problems, I’ve found a routine that works for me.  I know parts of it seem silly, but it I have to share it with you because it WORKS FOR ME and maybe it can work for you too!

If you need help sleeping, try whichever steps would make you comfortable.  It can’t hurt, and there are no side effects (except for the person next to you laughing as you do the same thing every night.  It could happen, but the sleep is worth it!)




  1. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP!! Make sure my story is ready, and headphones/speaker are next to the bed (details on this below)
  2. check the thermostat, make sure it’s my perfect sleeping temperature
  3. turn on the fan in my room, air movement helps me breathe better
  4. put on comfy pajamas, put socks on or take off/depending on weather
  5. put on lotion so skin gets silky smooth while I sleep
  6. put on lip balm (I use Badger Balm, it lasts all night)
  7. take all of my medicines
  8. put my morning meds (in a locked container) and water on my hospital table next to my bed, so I can take them before I get up and let them kick-in first thing
  9. put lavender oil mixed with coconut oil on my sinuses and the tip of my nose (helps my breathing at night)
  10. have 2 super-soft throw blankets on my side of the bed so I can use them to prop me up if I need it, or warm me up in the middle of the night

IT WORKS!  I just need to make sure I do everything BEFORE I go to bed.  With so much going on in my body, it can be hard for me to feel comfortable sometimes, but now when I follow my list, it’s easy!








I’m exhausted, but I’m also a Mom.  At night, when the house gets quiet, my brain goes into overdrive thinking about everything that needs to get done!  I used to keep pen and paper on my table to write these things down, but then my brain got creative and waited until I was laying down with the lights off to go nuts dishing out the info.  It spits it out like a high-speed pitching machine.  Finally it hit me, fight fire with fire.  Or in this case: fight words with words.

For me, personally, a nice historical fiction book is perfect.  It interests me enough to keep my brain engaged, but it isn’t exciting enough to get my brain too excited to sleep.  I set the story to play back at 0.8 speed, so it’s slow, but clear.  I use an old cel phone, but any mp3 player would work.  Even your phone if you need to.  Get an app for audiobooks.  Here are the three I use:

  • Librivox—it’s a free app, the downside is that all of the books are read by volunteers and sometimes, the quality reflects that (You can get paid books, but I’ve set mine to just show free ones.)
  • Audible—they have the newest quality-read books, the downside is that you have to pay for it, like over $16 per month.  But, if you cancel later, you get to keep the books you bought.
  • OVERDRIVE—MY HANDS-DOWN WINNER.  You connect your library card info with the free app, and borrow audiobooks, just like you would books from your physical library (fun fact, you can also download movies and e-books, but that is fun for another time, we’re trying to sleep here)


SET UP YOUR APP, THEN CHOOSE & DOWNLOAD STORIES BEFORE BEDTIMEDownload them into your app so if your wifi goes out, you still can listen (lesson learned, my friend)

If you sleep alone, or your spouse doesn’t mind, listen through a speaker, but if you (like me) are with someone who prefers silence, just wear some headphones (wireless please so you don’t have wires wrapped around your neck)



Just turn your story back on and let it lull you back to sleep.  No more strategic planning at 2am!  Your brain will learn that it’s time to relax.


Want to learn information about insomnia from the Mayo clinic?  Go here:





YOUR CHALLENGE FOR TODAY:  Prepare yourself for a good night’s sleep.  Choose a few things from the list to try and see if they help you relax.  Get everything ready ahead of time so that you don’t have to get up and get something to be comfortable enough to sleep.

Do you need help? Start HERE!










You really are a SUPERHERO Why?  Because, even though you feel awful, you are going to GET THINGS DONE!  Because you are getting accomplishing things with half the strength of a normal human.  You’ve had days you thought you’d never get out of bed again, but you did it, and you’ll do it again.

And now you’re here, reading this so you can find ways to get it done easier.  Chronically Positive Mom is going to help. 


You're stronger than you think!




  1. I need help parenting when I’m sick/having a flare. Jen Hardy has written a book just for you!  Learn how to ditch the guilt, find joy, and have FUN again! It’s available on Amazon:
  2. I wish someone would check in with me and make sure I’m OK regularly. Sign up for the e-mail list Sign up for our e-mails HERE, we’ll be sending you messages and you can message us back!
  3. I’m all alone out here, and I need someone to talk to who “gets it” CLICK HERE to join our support group on Facebook.  It’s full of women with all different conditions, helping each other out.
  4. Everything around me is “blah.” HERE is an article about creating beauty around you.  We’ll be discussing that more, so if you sign up HERE for the list, you’ll get new articles as they happen.
  5. I just can’t get the kids to help out at home! CLICK HERE for the fist in a series of articles about getting the house in order, even when you don’t feel well.
  6. I need to get my house together, but it’s so messy it’s overwhelming. CLICK HERE for an article about tidying up your home in less than an hour. It’s a great place to start!
  7. I’m having trouble dealing with my symptoms, but I don’t know what else to try. We’re working on a new video series on our YouTube CHANNEL.
  8. I need to make more money, but don’t feel up to getting out more. Check out THIS ARTICLE outlines some ways you can make money right there on your computer
  9. I’m having problems with people arguing around me and it’s stressing me out. HERE IS AN ARTICLE that talks about the importance of not engaging to start with, there are links to more at the bottom of it
  10. I feel so alienated, I wish other people knew what to say. There are two articles, one that tells people WHAT TO SAY, and one that tells them WHAT NOT TO SAY.  We also have t-shirts with the top 10 lists, so you don’t have to speak for them to know.  HERE’S THE LINK TO OUR T-SHIRT STORE. 




Click on the envelope at the top or bottom of the page to let us know what your needs are


We’d love to come take care of the kids and cook and clean for you so you can get a nice nap…but unfortunately our superpowers don’t extend that far, but we are here to listen, and guide you


Chronically Positive Mom is just getting started, and we have connections in four continents!  But his is only the beginning.  The beginning of something BIG!  We are a support network for Moms with illnesses all over the world.  We’ll help you, and you’ll support each other.  We aren’t alone anymore!



WHAT NOT TO SAY to someone with a chronic illness

A list of what NOT to say to someone with a chronic illness:


  • You don’t LOOK sick!

  • I’m sure it isn’t that bad.

  • You should_________.

  • You should stop______.

  • I wish I could take a nap.

  • You should get more exercise.

  • You’re not old enough to be that sick.

  • If you had enough faith you’d be healed.

  • Take what my friend took and you’ll be fine.

  • Just eat this certain diet and you’ll heal yourself.



Many people don’t know what to say to someone with a chronic illness. Unfortunately, they frequently feel like they have to say something. They think they are being helpful, but end up saying things that are intrusive, upsetting, or make us feel uncomfortable. It is good to let them know when they do it so they stop.

If they don’t know what upsets you, they might keep doing it. A lot of people (even ones we don’t know) like to pass along medical advice. It’s okay to say you don’t need advice, that you and your doctor have got things covered. Sometimes friends and family might hear interesting new information about your problem and want to share it right away, but maybe you could have them send it to you in an e-mail instead of sharing it with everyone at a family gathering, or let them know you’ve done the research, and don’t need help with that right now.

It can be frustrating having people doing medical research on your behalf only to give you advice that:

  1. could actually be harmful
  2. you already know
  3. brings up personal or embarrassing issues, or
  4. is just plain wrong


Equally frustrating is having people that you don’t know (who see your cane or wheelchair, etc. when you’re out in public for example):

  1. ask deeply personal questions 
  2. ask things about your medical history that would make your doctor blush 
  3.  give you erroneous unsolicited advice

Most of them are doing it out of curiosity not meanness, and they just don’t know any better. People just want to make you feel better, and some really want to more about your disease so they can help you or just become more informed.  Remember, you live with your health issues every moment, but some people have no idea what it would be like to be sick at all.


Does the list sound right to you? Would you like others to know the things on this list without you having to say a word?  ? Have I got just the thing for you….the t-shirt! Yes, just wear the shirt with that list on it and people will understand the kind of things you’d like them to NOT say.  Click the shirt for the link to the store.

Click the pic to go to our store

YOUR CHALLENGE FOR TODAY: Think of something positive you can say when someone offers you unsolicited advice about your health.  Plan ahead so that you’re not caught off-guard and hurt.  Remember, people just don’t understand what it’s like.  Maybe you could educate them in a few brief sentences.  Feel free to share your ideas in the comments.

WHAT TO SAY to someone who’s chronically ill:

WHAT TO SAY to someone who’s chronically ill:

  • I am here for you.

  • You are strong!

  • How can I help?

  • I want to understand.

  • I love you unconditionally.

  • Don’t worry, come when you can.

  • I’m sorry you’re having a rough day.

  • What kind of meal would you like?

  • I’m going to the store, what can I pick up?

  • Let the kids come over for a while so you can rest.


How can those close to you know what to say when you’re not feeling well? Start by telling them the kinds of things you’d like to hear. For instance, that they love you no matter what. Maybe you’d like to have them pick up something when they’re already at the store, or have them deliver your favorite dish the next time they make it. They won’t know what you need if you don’t tell them. (You could forward this post and give them some ideas.)

Sometimes people with a chronic illness already feel like a burden so asking for help is uncomfortable, but if someone asks what you’d like them to do for you, don’t be afraid to tell them. If you do feel uncomfortable asking for help, let them know that too.

You might find that some people say, “just let me know if you need something,” but don’t ever follow through with doing it. I have had some experiences where people have said that to be nice but didn’t follow through. Just remember, they do mean it when they say it, some people just aren’t great at doing things for others. If you ask for help and haven’t gotten any by the second or third try, move on and ask someone else.

Another good idea is to find another friend or friends with chronic health issues, that way you can help each other out. When you’re feeling better bring her the extra batch of dinner you cooked up, when she’s feeling better she picks things up at the store and brings them to you. A little teamwork goes a long way. Not only are you feeling better yourself by doing something positive for someone else, but you’ve got guilt-free help when you really need it. Don’t have friends with similar issues? Try joining our FACEBOOK support group.  Or go to a local support group.  It can be hard getting up and going, but if you can get there you’ll be glad you did!






We’ve got a new way to tell people what people with chronic illness want to hear, you can wear the t-shirt! Yes, it has all ten things listed above, so you can just wear it to the places you think people might want (or need) to know what you need to hear.

These shirts are all designed at Chronically Positive Mom, and the proceeds will help keep this blog going. There are also two versions of our Chronically Positive Mom super hero there too.


Your challenge for today: put together your own list of the help you need/could use from others. Next time someone asks, let them know. Post the things you think people should say below in the comments below. I always want to hear from you!

Remember Your Daily MEDS

You deserve to be taken care of! And it needs to start with YOU!

There are so many other things to do; caring for children, spouse, cooking, cleaning, work….the list goes on and on, but I will tell you this, the more you take care of yourself, the more helpful you are to everyone else.  Taking care of yourself first will make you a better parent!



What are they? You might find this list similar to something you’ve seen before, but this one is just for us…





MOVE! Notice here that I did not say exercise. Maybe you can exercise and that is GREAT! Do that! But if you, like me, can’t do a little bit without having some serious problems, then find ways to move that keeps your body going without completely wearing you out. Stretch when you wake up, walk an extra few steps when you’re going somewhere. Move as much as you can safely do.

EAT! Eat properly, you know what that means for your body. Put some snacks together at the beginning of the week so you’re ready to eat good food & not grab that bag of chips or cookies. Plan your meals in advance so you’re not panicking at four p.m. and just going through the drive-thru because you can’t get dinner together. Let’s face it, sometimes those things are a nice treat, but if that’s all your eating, you’re not going to feel your best!


DATE! This means take special time out with each special person in your life. Schedule social times on your calendar just like you would for any important appointment. Date your husband/significant other, make time with friends, and take time out with each child and make them feel special. You will be able to truly hear what they are saying, and regular times with Mom are the kind of times your child(ren) will definitely remember. Forever. Now, you’re not going to have a date every day, but you can look at your calendar every day and see that you have a special plan with someone coming up and it’s going to make you feel positive and hopeful! THIS HARVARD MEDICAL ARTICLE  talks about the importance of strong relationships.


Not feeling well enough to get out of the house? Schedule time to turn off the TV and phone and have a nice candlelight dinner, or to sit with a child on the couch and cuddle up and talk or play a game or read. It will make you both feel more connected.


SILENCE! You need it. Whether it be prayer, or meditation, or just 15 minutes a day when you don’t have any pressure to do anything but sit and relax and think, or not think, whichever is better for you. Turn off the computer and the ringer on your phone.

If you’re lucky, you have little nappers at home. That can be a great time for you to have silence. If not, I will share my secret, it’s called QUIET TIME. Quiet time is for any age child who can safely be alone. We’re even talking older kids here! It’s a set time, use a timer for younger ones, an hour is a nice time, start shorter and build it up. For that time they are in their room, QUIET. They can read or quietly play, and that is it! They learn how to be alone and have their silent time too, and you get to have some silence, then rest or get some things done.

In her article, 6 Reasons You Should Spend More Time Alone, Sherrie Bourg Carter gives some great reasons for you and your kids to have alone time. You can read them HERE.


Here’s a bonus S, SLEEP! You know you need it. Enough said. Need more reasons? CLICK HERE to learn more!


YOUR CHALLENGE FOR TODAY: Take at least one of your daily meds today, two tomorrow, three the next day, then four. Continue doing all four every day until you turn them into habits. You will feel better, and your family will thank you! Let me know how it goes!

Conquering the PMS beast



Ok ladies, this post gets personal…

I have always had difficulties with my period. When I was young, it was cramps, but as I’ve gotten older those have gone away and been replaced with ever-increasing mood swings. My amazing husband has been very understanding these past few years as the Hulk joins our family for a few days every month, but I really needed a way to make him stop invading our lives. I’ve tried over the counter medicines and prescription medicines, meditation, and even excessive amounts of chocolate, but still didn’t find relief. I’ve finally found assistance in the least likely place…an app! Sounds crazy right? I know! (And no, I am receiving no compensation for this post, I’ve just had so much help with it I have to share with EVERYONE!!)

The name of the app is Clue: Period and Ovulation Tracker, or Clue for short. It has a lot of great things in it, but here’s my favorite; it tells you when PMS is coming. You can have it say anything as a warning. I get an alert on my phone that says, “be careful this week.” How does it know that? Well, you enter the dates of your period and the other information about how you feel every month and it tracks the cycle info.  You can register an account so that they combine your info with others from all over the world and create a database to better understand women’s cycles. You can also NOT create an account and keep your personal stuff, you know, personal.


Now I am warned BEFORE PMS STARTS, before I start turning green (that’s the Hulk reference.) So when I feel like exploding because one dish wasn’t completely washed, or I find a pair of shorts on the floor, I just keep telling myself, “be careful this week.” And it WORKS!!! I can really tell a huge difference I how I feel (and so can hubby, that saint.)


Clue also tracks:

    • Bleeding heaviness (so you can plan accordingly)
    • Pain (cramps, headaches, etc)
    • Emotions (yes, definitely need that one!)
    • Sleep (need more or less at different times of the month? Now you’ll know)
    • Craving (sweet, salty, carbs, chocolate?)
    • Digestion (is bloating in your near future? will those leggings be a better choice than tight jeans today?)
    • Energy level
    • Motivation
    • Social (how supportive are those around you?)
    • Sex (you can keep a record if you’re trying to get pregnant, etc.)
    • A section to type in your own issues


Fill it out for a few months, then your calendar and graph will fill up with any and all of the things listed above to find out exactly what’s going on (you might be doing that on your own, but I always had a hard time until now.)

Do I still get PMS? YES. But I can control how I am going to respond much better, naturally, and I utilize most of the other portions so that I can be better prepared physically too.

One more thing I like about Clue, they are working on erasing the stigma of periods world-wide. “Periods are a health reality for 50% of the world’s population. Yet the menstrual cycle is often not discussed in public – because of cultural discomfort, social customs, or simply lack of information about the topic.” Says an intro to the app. They did a survey that 90,000 people answered. Find out what they learned by clicking here.

So, the next time you fell really PMSy, and yell at that beautiful face with those tiny eyes that love you so much, think of ways you can make it better. 50% of the adult population has a period, you’re not alone.

Have any other ideas for improving your period or PMS? Please share HERE!